Chalet 1802 - Chamonix-Mont-Blanc

Buying a vehicle for a chalet company is a nightmare. You’re limited by the fact that they have to seat 8 guests plus a driver. So that leaves you with a choice between minibuses or Landrover Defenders. Just what is the best vehicle for your Chamonix accommodation?

Now Landrover Defenders are nothing if not design classics. I honestly think they look great and are fantastic off road. We couldn’t have a better vehicle for the snowy drive at Chalet Schuss. BUT they drink fuel, and their design, although classic, hasn’t been updated in 40 years – and they are soon to be out of production as they don’t quite meet EU safety regulations (if you’re in them you’re fine, it’s whatever they hit that isn’t).

That leaves us with minibuses. Renault traffics are terrible. There, I’ve said it. Never buy a French manufactured car. The fuel economy is good, the luggage space great, but that’s about it. They’re plasticky, and just fall apart to the touch. So they’re a no no.

That leaves the Mercedes Vito, more expensive, German and made in Spain – so I’ll have to give that a miss. Or the VW Transporter, more expensive, German and, well you get the idea.

However, my problem may have been solved by the Geneva Motor Show. Why limit myself to Defenders and minibuses. So I’ve come up with three possible solutions, now I just need to trade in the Traffics and start saving.

For The Farmhouse I’ve opted for a Brabus iBusiness Mercedes Viano. Yes it’s a minibus, but it has been adapted by Brabus to suit the needs of the traveling skier. It is a veritable multimedia lounge on wheels, complete with gadgets such as the iPad, MacMini, iPhone and iPod with a 3.0-liter V6 CDI Brabus engine and a top speed of 155 mph.

For Sous Les Bois I’ve chosen a slightly more refined option. Less gimmicky than the Brabus, but equally as comfortable with many additional features and a snip at €492,602

“The Maybach 62 includes many luxury features such as fully-reclining rear seats, Maybach 4 zone climate control, tinted-windows, infrared-reflecting laminated glass all round, AirMATIC dual control air suspension, display instruments in rear roof liner (showing speed, time and outside temperature), folding rear tables (left and right), BOSE Surround Everywhere sound system and a refrigerator compartment.” Wikipedia.

For Chalet Schuss I think we’ll stick with the ever reliable Landrover Defender – with a few modifications of course…

You’ve just got back from your ski holiday. You’ve got another year to wait until your next trip. Depression begins to set in.

The time for worry has past. With an Alpinesofa you can have the thrill and joy of skiing whilst sitting at home watching Eastenders.

What are you wating for?

Human beings learn skills from each other by imitation. Mistakes occur, sometimes there are improvements, and thus our skill set and culture evolves. The bigger the connected population the more invention, and the more culture progresses.

Conversely, the smaller the population, the more self sufficient the group, the less is invented. A small grouping of settlers cannot sustain more than a certain number of tools. People can only learn a limited set of skills, and if there are not enough people to learn and pass on that skill then that skill will be lost. Progress can regress.

Or though runs the theory of Matt Ridley in the Rational Optimist. And I think he could be right.

Take Chamonix in the 18th/19th Century, an isolated mountain valley with a small self sufficient population, little trade and a harsh living environment. There weren’t enough peiple to learn and pass on skills so the alpine diet regressed. No gourmet French food back then just the odd marmot, cheese and stale bread.

Without a large enough population the inhabitants of Chamonix weren’t able to have a rich and varied diet. For them the only food set they managed to retain was stale bread and cheese otherwise known as fondue, raclette or croute. Now obviously hailed as regional specialities. What we now know though is that the Chamonix folk had simply forgotten how to cook anything else, and it wasn’t until the ‘discovery’ of Chamonix (by the English) and the opening up of tourism and trade that cuisine, and life in general, began to improve.

Related articles

• Digesting a fondue from the inside out (newscientist.com)
• Fondue: It’s a cheesy Seventies revival (independent.co.uk)

This summer I completed the GR20 in Corsica with my girlfriend. And do you know what the worst part was?

No it wasn’t the insane heat, nor the lack of water, nor the fact that we had to drag all our food and kit with us, nor the blisters, nor the mountains themselves – and there are proper mountains in Corsica – it was the one night we spent in a tent.

I have happy memories of tents. But then I was only 8.

There is nothing remotely enjoyable about sleeping in a tent.

Our tent was a light weight version which was no bigger than a coffin. You couldn’t move or breath without coming into contact with the tent, which would then soak you with condensation before collapsing in a heap.

The other problem with tents is that they are either too cold or too hot. There is no happy medium. You dive into your sleeping bag and shiver your way fitfully to sleep and then, just as you’ve dozed off, the sun rises and slowly roasts you awake.

Which is why the story of America’s most wanted doctor so surprised me. Dr Weinberger was found by the Italian police living at the foot of Mont Blanc in a tent.

The good doctor had been on the run since 2004 after fleeing the States with $5.7 million in malpractice suits filed against him. He’d even planned his escape in advance with a ‘scary room’ at work where he stored his survival gear.

Upon being found Weinberger then tried to take his life with a small knife he had concealed in his underwear and, despite being a doctor, he manged to miss every major artery in his body.

But what surprises me so much is the fact he hadn’t tried to take his life earlier.

If I had been living in a tent in the snow, feeding off tins of sardines and bits of fluff, and rolling in snow to wash I don’t think I would have lasted 2 nights.

Compared to the horrors of a tent I would have handed myself into the Italian police and taking my chances with the Mafia in jail.

A Snowman playing around in the snow.

The Snowmen Army protesting oitside government buildings about their plight.

The world’s tallest Snowman.

A realist or a cynic?